Brainlessness, Exhibit 382A

When you are returning mail sent to the wrong address, it helps if you write:

NOT AT THIS ADDRESS
RETURN TO SENDER
(or something similar)

Otherwise, as recently demonstrated in my household, the mail will happily arrive back in your letterbox a few days after sending.




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Book Club, Anyone?

OK, this may well be doomed to failure, but I thought it would be worth a go anyway! :)

Today I picked up a book from the Koorong catalogue (for those non-Aussies, Koorong is an Australian Christian bookstore). The book is called Women, Ministry and the Gospel: Exploring New Paradigms. It's a collection of essays presented at the 2005 Wheaton College Theology conference.

Now this seems like a really interesting book. The problem is, with my current small children and brain-eaten situation, I have a great deal of trouble sitting down and reading an entire "thinking" book from beginning to end. Trashy, useless novels? No problem. Important theological discussions? Whew. Too much hard work!
So, with sudden flash of inspiration, I wondered if there was anyone who'd be interested in reading it along with me - someone to keep me accountable, as it were!

The idea is, we'd go through a chapter or two a week, and discuss it on this blog. Each chapter is a self-contained essay looking at different issues within the bible, gender and ministry. It would be a great opportunity to interact with each others' ideas, and look at where some elements of contemporary scholarship are sitting on these issues. A chapter a week isn't too much - most chapters are only about 20 pages.

So who's in? If you'd like to get yourself a copy, you can find it here, or here, or here. (NB: some sites have prices in US currency or Australian currency).

Fairies I wish truly existed...

I don't know. Maybe the fever's made me delirious. Maybe it's too much Harry Potter with all its associated magic. The thought occurred to me this evening that it would be lovely if there were "fairies" who could do certain tedious tasks for you.
Here are some of the "fairies" I've thought of*:

• The Wash-the-Dogs Fairy
• The Clean-the-Jam-off-the-Carpet Fairy
• The Put-the-Books-Back-in-Order-on-the-Bookshelf Fairy
• The Put-the-kids-to-bed Fairy
• The Answer-the-phone-politely Fairy
• The Put-the-clothes-away-Ironed Fairy
• The Clean-the-Toilet Fairy (closely related to the Empty-the-Potty Fairy)
• The Vacuuming Fairy
• The Being-Polite-to-People-When-You're-Unwell Fairy
  

I'm sure there are others you could think of. Feel free to add them to this list! :)


*Warning: said fairy list should be read with knowledge of author's present grouchy demeanour. She will certainly regret some postings at a future date.

A great time-waster

I've discovered a couple of places to waste time both online and in the real world.

One of these places is the UK's Times Online, where you can regularly download free puzzles and crosswords. I've discovered the "Killer Sudoku" puzzles, which are far more interesting and brain-stretching than the regular Sudoku. It keeps my maths skills going, too, so perhaps I won't be so far behind when the kids get to the homework-help stage...

SCRADD rides again...

Yes, it appears that my Small Child - Related Attention Deficit Disorder continues unabated. I seem to have given up on my earlier attempts at reading, and have taken up various "projects", instead...

• Writing one (1) children's talk for Sunday, including a crash course on sketching
• Hemming and putting up curtains (6) for three (3) windows in the family room
• Completing two (2) Beatrix Potter cross-stitch projects for Essie's room
• Planting lots (?) of bulbs for spring
• Repotting one (1) magnolia "little gem" so it won't block out the light when it gets older.
• Printing out digital photos
• Finding time to put mounds of digital photos into albums in a way that is helpful for posterity.
  
• Finding the dryer mounting hooks so it can be moved away from the laundry cupboard.
• Removing the final dregs of the conifer from the vegie patch (stubborn root system)
• Hanging shelves in the study so we have a little more breathing space at desk level.

It's getting to be rather manic, now. I think I need help...

Old Stationery junkies never die, they just run out of ink...

Ever since I was in primary school, I've hoarded stationery. First it was the funky eraser collection in the Little Bitty Bin, then it was the collection of metallic gel ink pens and beautifully covered notebooks. The Back to School period was exciting simply because I loved stationery - the feel of a new, fresh notebook; the smooth progression of a new pen as it glided effortlessly over the page; the clean, unsullied pencil case bursting with new items. School itself could be a drag, but at least I had cool stuff to write with.

What do you do when you're no longer a student, or the computer has become your notebook?


You visit stationery websites, of course. In the privacy of your own home you can become that 10 year old again, itching to get your hands on that new folder.

Here are my two favourites at the moment:

Smiggle (they have bendy pens!!!)

Kikki-K (slightly more sedate and classy, but just as exciting)

I could justify it all by saying it's a necessary resource for helping us become more organised in our busy lives. But the reality is, I just like window shopping. Affluenza's got me again!

The situation of Mummy-ness

Firstly, my apologies for the poor grammar in the title. It's been a big day.

I've just been thinking about the mental knots we tie for ourselves as parents. I'm not sure whether it's unique to the feminine side of the parental spectrum, or whether it's a universal parent-type phenomenon. It's something that can leave us discontented, exhausted, and sometimes with patchy bald spots where we've torn out our hair.

Let me outline a common chain of events to illustrate:

1. We have sleep, intellects, jobs that satisfy, and the taken-for-granted feeling that we can handle the world.
   
2. We have children.
3. We love said children deeply, and think the way they crinkle their little noses is the most beautiful thing we've ever seen.
4. We have no sleep.
5. We lose intellectual discussion/feelings of mastery as we struggle to learn how to wash clothes 57 times a week while covered in mashed pumpkin.
   
6. Love for aforementioned children is muted beneath ever-growing desires to regain sleep/intellect/mastery.
7. We desire "a break". Grandparents/significant others step in to give us one, and send us out of the house.
   
8. We wander aimlessly through "the break", wishing we smelled like mashed pumpkin and desperately missing that crinkled little nose. If at shops, we may pick up baby knick-knacks.
   
9. We rush home early from the break to see the little crinkled noses and hope that they missed us as much as we missed them. We're often disappointed.
10. The cycle begins again at point 3.
    

I know. It's a little pathetic. It's an interesting mix of love, selfishness, and fatigue that puts us there. We're dissatisfied when we're at home (particularly at 3:35am), and we're dissatisfied when we're away. Who'd be a parent?

Still, I don't think I'd change it for the world - I might miss a nose crinkle!

Do you ever feel like a walking cliche?

When I was growing up, there were certain statements made by adults that I swore I would never utter. Sadly, however, the passage of time has left me uttering those very statements I used to abhor. It's sometimes amusing when I see the same patient-but-glazed expressions that I used to wear now on the faces of youth-group girls. It appears that congratulations are in order: I've officially entered the age of giving "helpful" advice to the young!

Some examples:

1. My goodness, you've grown!
2. We never used to have [insert technological/sociological innovation here] when I was young.
3. I remember when the original version of [insert song that has recently been covered by young, hip band here] first came out!
4. You'll learn.
5. One day, you'll understand.
   
6. Back when I was young, [insert product here] only cost [insert ridiculously low price here].
7. I used to worry about my waistline before I had kids.
8. I don't understand the fashions these days. Why do people think [insert trend here] is cool?
9. That music is too loud!
10. Once you've had kids, you don't worry about [insert embarrassing issue/anecdote here].

Also amusing are the times when I say, "Do you remember when [insert movie or song here] came out?" only to discover that the person I was speaking to wasn't actually born or fully cognizant then.

I can hear the older generation referring to statement 5 with a knowing "I told you so!".

Developmental Psychology for dummies (i.e. me)

Back in the dark ages (ok, 13 years ago) my psychology studies were bent on determining how much of ourselves are based on nature vs. nurture. Having small children is like a long-term qualitative study of the above issue. Sometimes it's fascinating. Sometimes it makes me think that people should not become psychologists until they have had children themselves. Sometimes it's just baffling.

Case study no. 1: Oldest son. When asked to do something, he will attempt to whine plaintively, until told to cease immediately. Oldest son therefore does so, and performs the previously requested task.

Case study no 2: Younger daughter. When asked not to do something, she will exhibit a defiant facial expression, and then continue to perform said task with absolute gusto. Reprimands result in loud screaming, object throwing, and general tantrum-like behaviour. Encouragement may give desired result, but only if daughter feels like fulfilling the request in the first place.

What did we do differently? We've certainly been less vigilant with our daughter, simply by weight of the fact that there are now two children to supervise. We're also less uptight about parenting - not freaking out at any minor sniffle or apparent deviation in developmental milestones. Our daughter has also had the added benefit of an older sibling to potentially teach her how to be rough/hit/throw things. But I think the ultimate answer is that she is her own little personality, and the disciplinary methods that worked with J will not cut the mustard with S.

Birth order? Perhaps a little. Parenting method? Probably. But it's amazing to me at how we are created with our little personalities too. Psalm 139 was a big one for me before the kids were born, but it comes up again and again as they grow:

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well." (v13-14)

We're not born blank slates, ready to be told who to be. Our personalities aren't some fluid construct that don't have any real concrete existence. Even as young as 13 months, you can see a God-given personality emerging. It's not complete - experience and age will mold and temper certain aspects, as well as giving both of them fodder for future therapy (!).

I've come into contact with people who talk of various "parenting methods" with absolute conviction as if there is only one successful way to rear a child. The problem with these convictions is that they tend to leave out a very important variable: the child's own individuality.

As a parent, it is both a blessing and a challenge. God has given my children their own little personalities already. They have choices to make in growing their own way. My job is to work out how to train them both in a way that won't leave them socially inept, scarred, or psychopathic, and give them a deep love for the one who made them who they are...

Why the title?

The babies stole my brain...


Science has for several years now documented the phenomenon that women's brains shrink during pregnancy. That's right, they shrink. So along with the usual hang-ups of the gestational period - puffy feet, tiredness, backache, nausea etc etc, - we also have the extra burden of losing a little bit of our brains each time we decide to have a child. It's not like it's a major issue or anything. We don't go from rocket scientist to vegetable overnight. But there are subtle changes that happen almost instantly:

• We lose the ability to find words easily. Thankfully, words like "thingie", "whatsit", and "dooverwackie" manage to hang around for the regular occasions when mental blocks occur.
• We're no longer able to hold full sentences (ones that contain more than four words, anyway) in our heads. Hence the growing appearance of bimbo-hood as we get halfway into a sentence before realising that we've forgotten what we wanted to say in the first place. You wouldn't believe how much deleting and re-arranging is currently going on behind the writing of this blog...
• Distractions occur more easily and frequently than they ever did before. You might think this is just because we have more on our hands with small children, but NOOOO! Tasks as simple as making a cup of tea now take four times as long as we get the teabags via unloading the dishwasher and ... oooh, that's an interesting catalogue on the bench...

Sometimes it's difficult to work out whether something has slipped because your brain has been eaten, or whether you're just sleep deprived. The trick is to see whether it remains once the children start sleeping for longer than two hours at a time. Sadly for me, it seems these changes are permanent.

*Sigh*

I'd better go and do some more sudoku and crosswords...

Blogs are like a disease, aren't they?

A blog is to the internet what the ipod was to music. At first, it was the bastion of the technogeeks only - particularly the Macphiles who swooned after anything bearing the fruity logo. Then, it became hip. Even U2 got in on the act. And then... it just tipped over the edge into that overblown, "everyone's doing it" not-so-trendy-anymore place.

And that's where I came in.

-Unashamedly a follower.

Baa.