The Christian and Depression

On Sunday, we had a special youth service on the topic "the Christian and Depression", and an old college friend of ours came up to speak. He chose Psalm 88 as his text, the only psalm not to have an uplifting "but I will trust in the Lord". It was a great night, and a really helpful talk.

As Christians, we can be spectacularly unhelpful in our response to depression or other mental illness. Here are some of the ways we might stuff up:

1. You're a Christian, you shouldn't be depressed!
The first way shows a misunderstanding of what being a Christian means. Sometimes people preach the gospel as if to say, "Believe in Jesus, and your life will be a bunch of roses". But being a Christian doesn't make us immune from depression any more than it makes us immune from the flu. We're saved by grace into a living hope, but it's not until Christ's return that we are promised that "there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain" (Rev 21:4). We still live in a fallen world, and part of that fallenness is the Black Dog.

2. You musn't have enough faith. Bad Christian, Bad!
This is a worsening of the first way we can be unhelpful to people who are struggling with depression. Sadly, some sections of the church believe that if we have enough faith, we will automatically be healthy, wealthy and wise. The flipside of that is that if you aren't healthy, wealthy or wise, you therefore don't believe enough. So on top of the enormous burden of depression that people suffer, we add the burden of guilt and despair.

3. I've only got 5 minutes over a cuppa...
It's fairly common these days for people you pass in the street to say "Hi! How are you?" as they pass, clearly not waiting for a response. Our Sunday after-the-service conversations can be almost as bad. Sure, we're usually at least mildly interested in how people are doing, but if they've got real problems we nod, smile politely, and then look for the quickest way to get out of the conversation. It's little wonder that many people who suffer with depression learn to avoid social contact, or hide behind a veneer of "I'm fine thanks".

4. Aren't you better yet?
Us Aussies have notoriously short attention spans. You only have to look at Australian Idol to see: we're great at cheering for the battler, but as soon as the lights have faded, they're ancient history. We love the 60 minute story arc - our hero begins facing grave difficulties, but with a lot of heroicism overcomes between the ad breaks. Even our sermons tie up neatly with the 5-minute application.
Depression doesn't work that way. It's often around for the long haul.

5. I've been sad, too.
Sometimes we can show a classic lack of understanding about what depression really is. We try to empathise and say "Yeah, I know how you feel" without actually knowing, and end up showing that we really have no idea. This can drive a person who's depressed even further away, and make them think you aren't interested in them at all. I once heard someone say "Yes, I felt depressed once. I just threw myself into the housework, and it fixed everything up."

6. The depression-cure vending machine
As part of our short attention spans, we often try the "quick fix" therapy method. It often turns into advice like "Just pray about it"/"Think of how wonderful heaven will be!"/"Fix your eyes on Jesus!"/"Pull yourself together!" While it's good for someone who is depressed to pray or to know that they won't be depressed in heaven, depression is not cured by quick-fix methods. Sometimes it can't be completely cured at all. We don't like that idea, do we?

7. Nothing to see here! (The not-the-Good-Samaritan approach)
Probably the worst way we can be unhelpful is to live in denial. We see someone who clearly appears to be struggling, and like the Levite in Jesus' parable we cross the road to the other side. There's no Depression here! We're all Christians! We're all victorious! That person who wishes they were dead is not really thinking that at all. Don't mention the war!

As our friend said on Sunday, if Psalm 88 is in the bible, it shows that we shouldn't be sweeping depression under the carpet. Depression is not shameful. Let our friends who are depressed be honest, rather than hide what they're dealing with.