Having a holiday was disastrous for my waistline, but it was great for everything else. Experiencing warm sunlight, getting toes sandy at the beach, actually finishing several books. The best result of the holidays, though, has been the discovery of the joy of unstructured time.
As parents, we're threatened with the devastation of having a child "behind in their development", as if there is some golden standard of excellence to which we can and must push our toddler. We're supposed to maximise their learning, so any play they have is to be educational, not just fun. Toys can't just exist, they have to have some teaching component to them (even if it's just ABC-123). Our children have great expectations thrust upon them: they have to expand their vocabulary, they should learn to count to 20 before preschool, they must learn their alphabet and how to read, and above all, they must, must, must BE CLEVER!
It's a big burden to place on a small child. It's also a heavy guilt-trip to lay on parents. And it really isn't necessary, because sometimes it's better just doing nothing.
We did a lot of nothing this holiday. Nothing, that is, except spending time with each other giving our full attention to the children, and letting them be themselves. No agendas. No pressure-cooker flash cards. No super-engineered educational toys. No "Sorry kids, I just have to..." Just us listening to them, interacting with them, and experiencing life together. And you know what? In two weeks our daughter's vocabulary expanded quite considerably. Our son can now ride without training wheels. Not because we forced these things to happen, but because we slowed down long enough to let our children be themselves.
It doesn't take much. Tonight, I delayed dinner by half an hour so that I could sit down and wrestle with the kids. It was only half an hour, but we were all giggling at the end. It also meant that I didn't have to say "Sorry, honey, Mummy just has to..."
I highly recommend doing Nothing. It's a great way to discover who your kids really are.
2 comments:
I totally agree! children need boredom. I was reading the other day that up til around 8 children should have a max of one extracurricular activity per week (eg sport or music). That was what i grew up on - its enough to enrich without taking over time to imagine. My almost 3 yo (sparky) doesnt have any at the moment, though he did swimming at one point. I'm contemplating swimming again for this summer. maybe music next year some time.....
An RDI principle is to slow down - it has made us much better parents.
Boredom is necessary for the adrenaline levels to go down in the body... we need it too as adults. I read a great book by Arch Hart (Dr) about it. Otherwise it causes health issues.
I made a 'bored list' for Jemima. If she comes complaining about it, I tell her to go look at the bored list and sort her own life out!! Don't expect me to entertain you!
Post a Comment